3/9/14
A relative of mine recently had a very difficult surgery. She decided not to tell us about it ahead of time - because she didn't want to worry us - and she didn't want any fuss from us to add to her anxiety. I understand her reasons in my head - but I know if she hadn't made it through the surgery - it would have been painful for the rest of us to come to terms with her death. I realize it wasn't about me - it was her decision for herself - but honestly, I would have felt cheated.
It sounds so selfish as I write this. Yet I would have wanted to pray for her, even if she didn't want me to pray with her. I would have wanted to let her know that I care about and love her.
Before I sound too judgmental about anyone's choice to keep things to themselves, I have to admit, I have done the same thing. Maybe not with a "surgery" but certainly with other difficult struggles and challenges. I was either embarrassed, in too much pain to talk about it, or feeling so crushed, a few words would bring tears to my eyes. In me, a few tears has a tendency to turn into a big soppy mess. I do not like to be a mess.
With this issue running through my head: to talk or not to talk, it felt like God was talking right to me this morning when the pastor began his message with this:
"Have you been walking around on the outskirts of town?" the pastor paused, then continued, "You are not meant to be alone."
"Am I hanging out, away from the hearts of other people?" I mused to myself. As the pastor described how the Apostle Paul made it through 2 miserable years in prison yet wrote the wonderful letter to the Philippians from that place - two things jumped out at me: connectedness and communication.
Even while Paul was in prison he was communicating with others, and others were communicating with him. That very process kept him connected to the fellow believers in the faith, even though he was separated from them physically.
Going to church and saying "hi", being at Bible study and praying for others, makes it look like I am connected. But by not joining activities that would build relationships, or opening up about my struggles and challenges and asking for prayer: I have been living on the outskirts of town and only traveling on a one-way street.
Dear Lord, please forgive me for thinking I could protect myself or others by keeping everything to myself. Thank You for showing me what street I was on and for guiding me in the way I should go. Please forgive me for doing things my way. Thank You for reminding me I was not meant to be alone. In Jesus name, amen.
Matt Maher performs "Hold Us Together"
Written by
Mary M. Wilkins
A relative of mine recently had a very difficult surgery. She decided not to tell us about it ahead of time - because she didn't want to worry us - and she didn't want any fuss from us to add to her anxiety. I understand her reasons in my head - but I know if she hadn't made it through the surgery - it would have been painful for the rest of us to come to terms with her death. I realize it wasn't about me - it was her decision for herself - but honestly, I would have felt cheated.
It sounds so selfish as I write this. Yet I would have wanted to pray for her, even if she didn't want me to pray with her. I would have wanted to let her know that I care about and love her.
Before I sound too judgmental about anyone's choice to keep things to themselves, I have to admit, I have done the same thing. Maybe not with a "surgery" but certainly with other difficult struggles and challenges. I was either embarrassed, in too much pain to talk about it, or feeling so crushed, a few words would bring tears to my eyes. In me, a few tears has a tendency to turn into a big soppy mess. I do not like to be a mess.
With this issue running through my head: to talk or not to talk, it felt like God was talking right to me this morning when the pastor began his message with this:
"Have you been walking around on the outskirts of town?" the pastor paused, then continued, "You are not meant to be alone."
"Am I hanging out, away from the hearts of other people?" I mused to myself. As the pastor described how the Apostle Paul made it through 2 miserable years in prison yet wrote the wonderful letter to the Philippians from that place - two things jumped out at me: connectedness and communication.
Even while Paul was in prison he was communicating with others, and others were communicating with him. That very process kept him connected to the fellow believers in the faith, even though he was separated from them physically.
Going to church and saying "hi", being at Bible study and praying for others, makes it look like I am connected. But by not joining activities that would build relationships, or opening up about my struggles and challenges and asking for prayer: I have been living on the outskirts of town and only traveling on a one-way street.
And now this word to all of you:
You should be like one big happy family,
full of sympathy toward each other,
loving one another
with tender hearts and humble minds.
I Peter 3:8 TLB
Therefore, confess your sins to one another,
and pray for one another so that you may be healed.
The effective prayer of a righteous man
can accomplish much.
James 5:16 NASB
Dear Lord, please forgive me for thinking I could protect myself or others by keeping everything to myself. Thank You for showing me what street I was on and for guiding me in the way I should go. Please forgive me for doing things my way. Thank You for reminding me I was not meant to be alone. In Jesus name, amen.
Matt Maher performs "Hold Us Together"
Written by
Mary M. Wilkins
This is a good word, Mary. I think that to have support of your besties in times of sadness, pain, or illness is beneficial to you and to them. When I had cancer 20 months ago I communicated with many people whose love, advice and caring was very therapeutic.
ReplyDeleteGod bless