I was in the fifth grade in school when I learned my first bible verse. At that time, every student was given the opportunity to go to Bible Study for an hour a week.
The only thing that was required for us to attend was to get a written permission slip signed from our parents or guardians. Then, one day a week, an hour before class ended, we were allowed to leave, and we would then meet our Bible Study Leader in a designated area.
I can remember how much I looked forward to and loved this time. I can still remember the very first verse that I had been taught to memorize. It was John 14, verses 2 and 3, and it went like this, “In My Father’s house there are many mansions. If it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going.” (Italics mine) How I loved that verse then, and how I still love that verse today.
You see, it wasn’t and isn’t just a verse to me. It was and is a personal promise that the Lord has made to me. I became an orphan at the age of seven. I had lost both of my parents at separate times. I was four and a half when I lost my Mother, and two and a half short years later, I lost my Father as well. They had both left me with no forewarning. I had never had time to prepare myself for this great loss that I would experience. Even if I had been given time to prepare, I was still so young that I would never have had even the slightest idea of how to prepare myself.
The only thing that I knew was that both of my parents were gone, and I was still here. I wasn’t sure why they had gone, or even where they had gone to. I would travel a long and painful journey to arrive at the place of understanding that I am at today. Of course, I had no idea of all this when I was in the fifth grade. All I did know was that I found a deep sense of comfort in this Bible verse that I was being asked to memorize.
So, why am I bringing all of this up today? I am bringing it up because even though I, at the time, had no idea of what I really needed, God did. He knew what I needed because it had been He, Who had kept His eye on me. When my Mother and Father had left me, God was the One Who had stayed beside me. He knew what I was feeling inside and He knew how to help me. Today I am familiar with phrases such as, “abandonment issues”, but in the fifth grade all I knew was that there was a big emptiness inside of me that never seemed to go away.
But, again, God knew. It was not an accident that the very first verse that I was ever taught from the Bible was the one verse that was going to begin to comfort and eventually be used as a tool, to heal those empty places inside of me. What I was hearing then, without knowing it, was this, “Your parents left you, but I will NEVER leave you. I have sent my Son, to give you what you need, and to give you the love that you have longed for, in the very deepest places of your heart. Yes, He will leave you for awhile, but I promise, HE will come back for you. And when He does, He will bring you to ME.”
Even at my early age, God was speaking to me through His written word. He was looking past all that was visible on the outside of me, and He was addressing the very deepest place of need inside of me. That is what He did in my life then, and that is what He does in all of our lives, now. He SPEAKS to us. He LOVES us. He shines His light in the darkest areas inside of our hearts, in order to HEAL us. He REASSURES us that He will never leave us, nor will He forsake us. He calls us to Himself, because that is how He COMFORTS us, and that is how He STRENGTHENS us. He PROVES Himself to us, over and over and over again, so that we will come to place our TRUST in Him, and to KNOW, RECOGNIZE, and to SERVE Him, for Who He really is.
He will do whatever it takes to accomplish these things inside of us. It is only when we experience His love for ourselves that we will go out, and tell others about Him also. He knows exactly how to reach each one of us, and He knows also, exactly when to reach out to us. Even though I wasn’t aware that I was searching for answers to the pain in my heart when I was in the fifth grade, God knew that it was time to begin addressing those things. He knew that it was time to send in a person who was willing to give up an hour of her time to teach a handful of students some things that were written in the Bible. To her it was probably a small sacrifice of time, but to me it was a beginning. It was the beginning of a process of understanding that has continued on in my life to this very day. That is the process of knowing that I am not only loved, and accepted, but that I am valued as well, by the Lord of Lords, and the King of Kings, the One Who gave up His own Son, in order to save me, and you.
Written by Beverley A Napier
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