“No, I don’t want him listening to that music,” I said determinedly to my husband. “What do you mean by ‘that music’?” he asked ever so patiently. It makes me nervous when he’s ultra patient like that, I can tell he is not going to gloss over the topic, and I will need to hold my own. In our parenting when we are not on the same page, we discuss the issue until we come to an agreement. Sometimes discussions sound like arguments, but we don’t mind; we are building a platform from which we will both function.
My husband enjoys and appreciates almost every type of music: from classic country, to rock, to jazz, to ballads, to classical, thus I have spent the last few decades listening to an unending assortment. When our very teenage-like 12 year old son brought home a CD of music that I didn’t recognize and couldn’t understand (much less enjoy)I quickly decided it wasn’t appropriate material.
Back to our discussion, it did end peacefully; I totally agreed that the lyrics were the most important thing. After reading through the words on that particular album, I mean CD, I conceded that the style of voice, drums, and guitars should not matter to me when the messages are Christ- centered.
Our son excitedly accepted my apology and the news that he could listen to his new CD. Truth be told, I came to not be annoyed by this music genre (unless I was tired or had a headache). Ten years later I actually enjoy it and when our youngest son walks into the room rapping about Jesus filling his soul with purpose and strength, I smile and thank God for teaching me the lesson.
Unfortunately, that was not the last time I judged what I did not understand. Experience has taught me that I tend to miss the real issue at first, so it is better for me to be slow to voice my opinion. This has not been an easy job for me. Perhaps you’ve heard that women speak 20,000 words a day on average, well, I believe that some of us tend towards 30,000. So to say that I am naturally chatty or talkative is, at best, an understatement. To seek first to understand requires a lot of patience AND listening that I don’t have naturally. James 1:19 (AMP)
Understand [this], my beloved brethren. Let every man be quick to hear [a ready listener], slow to speak, slow to take offense and to get angry.
Proverbs 14:29 (CEV)
Patience leads to abundant understanding,
but impatience leads to stupid mistakes.
Dear Lord,
Thank You for not leaving me to myself. Thank You for Your promise to complete the good work You have begun in my life, so that I will be strong and able to do Your will (Hebrews 13:21). In Jesus name, amen.
Written by
Mary M. Wilkins
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