...not guilt but memories for others
We were laughing, cooking and setting the table when my mother suddenly became very quiet. She was visiting and we were taking pleasure in the process of working together and strolling down memory lane. I was enjoying her company and her help.
“Do you remember that one Christmas?” she asked trying to sound casual. There was just a hint of a catch in her voice. So I quickly searched my memory to see what she might be remembering. I looked at her questioningly.
“Which Christmas are you thinking of, Mom?” I asked back.
“The one where I had to pay an extra bill and I couldn’t buy you or your brother any presents,” she answered with a clear lump in her throat and tears threatening to spill onto her cheeks.
She continued, “I had that car, and it needed a big repair, so you only got a few gifts from relatives and your Dad sent a new television because ours had broken. Remember? “
I remembered receiving the television one year but I had no recall of any missing gifts. This conversation was enlightening to both of us. My mother gave herself permission to let go of the regret that had been nagging her in the back of her mind. And I realized how much I worry over the very same issue when trying to make my vision of a good Christmas a reality for my own children.
There was a king in the Old Testament that God said was a “Man after God’s own heart” (see Acts 13:22). King David committed adultery, had someone murdered, and was an imperfect dad. Yet, it wasn’t because King David was perfect, but that he would humble himself and depend upon the Lord. He isn’t preaching in the following scripture, he is remembering what he knows to be true.
Psalm 37:23-25 (NLT)
The LORD directs the steps of the godly
He delights in every detail of their lives.
Though they stumble, they will never fall,
for the LORD holds them by the hand.
Once I was young, and now I am old.
Yet I have never seen the godly abandoned
or their children begging for bread.
Dear Lord, thank you for watching over each one of us. Please give us ears to hear and a heart that understands we are not alone or abandoned. Please help us to recognize Your blessings both large and small. Please help us to remember that it is not good for anyone to get everything they want. In Jesus name, amen.
Written by Mary M. Wilkins
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