On the plane coming back from Hawaii, I found myself sitting across the aisle and one row of seats back from a little girl and her mother. I observed this mother and daughter “5 hour flight experience” the entire flight. I honestly have to say that the behavior of this child in my eyes was unbelievable. I tried not to judge, as this mother and I obviously have different parenting techniques, but I could help but allow certain opinions to form in my mind. In spite of this, however, I was impressed with her (the mother, not the daughter).
My own analysis led me to believe that the parents did not believe in teaching their children self-control, and felt no harm in letting them hang onto whatever would pacify them and feed their self-indulgence. This was evident not only in their behavior (as I also observed the slightly older daughter and father behind us), but also in the bottle for the 2 year old, sippy cup for the 5 year old, as well as blankies, crackers, candy, etc. They were constantly being pacified going back and forth between mother and father for whatever they wanted and whenever they wanted it.
They ran the show…the kids, not the parents. The most unbelievable sight was this little girl, about age 2 by the size and speech, who was kicking and screaming, hitting and biting her mother from time to time, but mostly during the take-off and landing. It goes without saying that I was not impressed with these parents based on their parenting skills. No, it was instead their calm demeanor that impressed me so much. I can hardly tell what the mother’s voice sounded like because I rarely heard her speak. It took so much strength for that mother to hold onto this unruly child during the take-off and landing, but she did it.
Of course she did, she loves her child. She will safely hold this child as tight as she can no matter what it takes. She probably was noticing how many people were watching, but never the less, she did not break down. She didn’t cry, yell or even raise her voice. She was as strong as an oak holding with all her might this little girl who, in all her ferocious rebellion, just couldn’t understand why she couldn’t do what she wanted to do…get down.
Yes, she was like an untrained wild animal that was now being restrained and her rage was spewing out like a volcano. These words were shouting at me through the actions of the mother, “I know you’re rebellious, but I still love you and don’t want you to die…I know you’ve done nothing to receive this love and protection, and you’ve done everything to deserve punishment, but right now I don’t care. I still love you and I don’t want you to die.” I realized how many times God has held me back with restraints from things that I know now were dangerous, but I didn’t know at the time. So in all my rebellion I fought Him tooth and nail trying to get my way. But He wouldn’t let go. He loves me too much even though I don’t deserve it.
Now, do you hear these words of love shouting from the Father as He allowed His Son to die? He was shouting them to the Roman soldiers, to the children of Israel, to us…
“I know you don’t understand this, but it has to be done because I love you. I know your rebellious heart, but I still love you and don’t want you to die. This is hard for Me, this is hard for My Son, but it’s worth it because you’re worth it even though you don’t even know Me yet. I know you’ve done nothing to receive this gift and instead you deserve punishment, but right now I don’t care. I still love you and don’t want you to die.”
But God demonstrated His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8
Written by Amie Spruiell
Amie this is a beautiful reminder that God's love never fails. I am so glad He is my Father.
ReplyDeleteApart from the Godly thoughts here there is something else that most people miss in their childrearing. They think that it is the worst thing in the world to deny a child anything. This habit of pacifying a child...keeping them happy at all costs. So the child never develops any self control or any strength of character to achieve. We do not do anything to benefit our children when we become their pacifiers.
ReplyDeleteThank you Amie!