To Be Free of Anger

I like this prayer by author and speaker John Maxwell:


"Dear Lord,
So far today, I've done all right.
I haven't gossiped, I haven't lost my temper,
I haven't been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish, or over-indulgent.
I'm really glad about that.
But in a few minutes, God, I'm going to get out of bed,
and from then on, I'm probably going to need a lot more help!”

I wish I could claim that this funny prayer is always true in my life. I can easily recall waking up already angry with a child or my husband (or my mother, or a friend, or an acquaintance, or an enemy, or a coworker). I have struggled with anger for many years (how long have I been married?) and know how hard it is to master this emotion. Whether I am stuffing my emotions and putting on a ‘happy’ face or erupting like a volcano – my anger is still alive and well within me.

I have read books on anger; listened to cd’s on love; and even attended a well-known anger seminar. My epiphany occurred at the seminar. As I was taking notes, I thought to myself, “Okay, exactly what makes me angry?” I wrote in the margin of my workbook these shocking words: “When I don’t get what I want.”
I smiled a little guilty half-smile.

It was suddenly so clear. I get angry with the kid’s when they don’t clean up the play room, because I want to take them to a movie or the park afterwards. I get angry with my husband for not offering to clean up but I don’t want to admit to him that I need help or that I can’t handle it. Can’t he see I’m overwhelmed? It shouldn’t matter that I have certain ways of doing things and tend to be a bit corrective when he tries to help, right?

Right then is when God got me. My husband had a coping skill. He avoided my negative behavior and just let me do what I was going to do. Basically, I had an anger bubble surrounding me as I proficiently and diligently ‘got everything done.’ My husband, wise man that he is, avoided me during those times, in order to avoid ‘popping’ that bubble.

I got this message loud and clear. There was no way I could master anger on my own. I confessed my weakness to God (not an easy thing – strong woman that I am). I admitted my struggle to a trustworthy friend. I started sharing my story and being real about myself and realistic about my expectations. I still have roller coaster days and bubble scenarios. But I am starting to know what it feels like to be free of anger.“I can do everything through him who gives me strength.” Philippians 4:13 NIV

“Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions. “ Psalm 51:1-3 NIV

Written by Mary Wilkins July 12, 2010