What Frazzles???

July 20, 2010

At the beginning of a bible study I am excited and positive that I will grow and change and this study will be the one that helps me accomplish much and I will arrive at the end of the study mature, at peace and balanced! I found this entry in one of my journals; it is the first day of a new bible study:

“What frazzles me? When I get off schedule – when I hope to accomplish something special with the kid’s and we don’t get things done so we can enjoy the pleasurable thing.

What else frazzles me? When the routine of my life stretches before me like an unending ribbon, like a spool of thread dropped on the floor that has rolled unchecked.What would/could I do to change the frazzle? I could change my system: do the fun stuff even if all the work isn’t finished.  Stop over-scheduling. Change the belief in my head that it all must be done in order for me to be successful.”What’s so funny about these thoughts is that clearly I know what I need to do. Even though I tell myself this kind of change is good, I am afraid of change.  And I am afraid that old habits die hard in this girl. So when the going gets tough I am likely to fall back into old patterns for coping with the crisis, the fatigue and the drama of everyday life.

 Just to keep it real, here is the next entry in that journal, 4 days later: “Dear Lord, I am hurt, angry and close to tears. I do not know why I am struggling-except I am worried about many things. I am frustrated that the kids can be so frustrating! I hate it when I am angry and snapping. I want to be loving, patient and kind. I want to be a clean and pure vessel, ready to share God’s love and mercy, even towards my own children and myself.

But who is showing me mercy? Who is loving me and caring for me – no matter what? Who is gently teaching and guiding me along this difficult path? That’s right, You are Lord. Please help me to be free from this deep well of emotions – lift me up and give me Your strength to keep my eyes and heart on You. May my lips ever praise You. For You are beautiful and kind, strong and comforting; You alone are worthy of my attention and praise.

”So, if our almighty powerful God, still loved King David, even after he mishandled an entire kingdom (adultery, murder, etc). Then I can believe that no matter how long it takes me to put away pride and selfishness, no matter how many times I mess up; He is still there loving me, ready to forgive me, and to set me up on my feet again, to give it another try. “Now God has us where he wants us, with all the time in this world and the next to shower grace and kindness upon us in Christ Jesus. Saving is all his idea, and all his work. All we do is trust him enough to let him do it. It's God's gift from start to finish! We don't play the major role. If we did, we'd probably go around bragging that we'd done the whole thing!

No, we neither make nor save ourselves. God does both the making and saving. He creates each of us by Christ Jesus to join him in the work he does, the good work he has gotten ready for us to do, work we had better be doing.” Ephesians 2:7-10 (The Message)Author Cindi Wood walks willing women down the path to “Finding God’s Peace in Your Daily Chaos.” Her bible studies, blog and ministry info are at www.frazzledfemale.com .

Written by Mary Wilkins
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