With my heart pounding and my eyes burning green I headed down the hall to drop off the kids in their classes. It was going to be a quiet Sunday night gathering in our small church. Yes, it took effort to get back for the 6 o'clock service after a busy Sunday schedule but all of our friends would be there.
As I found a seat my heart was still pounding and my head was bursting with thoughts of self-pity. I had just heard that one of my good friends wasn't coming tonight. She had decided to skip church and go see a movie alone. Her husband had announced it as if it was a normal thing - but in our circle of friends -it was not normal. And I was over-flowing (like an active and angry volcano) with jealousy.
I was jealous on two levels, as I proceeded to explain to God in much detail. First, how come she got to skip church and not be in trouble (see how immature I was!). After all, no one was gasping in disbelief that she wasn't there. It seemed to me that everyone was happy to excuse her for the evening.
Secondly, how come she got to go do something fun and I didn't? On top of that, the movie sounded like a beautiful love story, just my cup of tea.
Now no one told me I had to be at church every time the doors were open. We were young Christians and we wanted to be there - we enjoyed being with our friends and visiting with them before and after service. And although my husband and I didn't typically go to movies during that season of our lives, I could have. I didn't go because I didn't think of going.
I continued to pout and feel sorry for myself. When I explained my little drama to my husband after the kids were in bed, he simply said, "Go to the movie if you want."
A few days later I forgave my friend for doing a fun thing without me as she mollified my feelings by saying, 'Oh, you could have gone with me."
I never did go to the movie theater, and in those days we waited a long time for a movie to be available to rent at a video store. Some time later I thought fondly of my friend as I put the VHS tape of "When A Man Loves A Woman" in the player. Fifteen minutes later I humbly asked God to forgive me for ever feeling sorry for myself or being jealous of my friend. As tears flowed down my cheeks, I ached for my alcoholic girlfriend, and what she must have gone through, alone in the theatre that day, as God used a movie to bring her face to face with her addiction and what it was doing to her family.
By then, my friend had admitted to her problem, gotten help, and was on the road to recovery and health. I learned to be careful what I wish for, and not to envy another person's life, because no matter what I think I know, I have absolutely no idea what it is to be them.
Dear Lord, thank You for the creative ways You speak to us and the ways You can drive a message deep into our heart of hearts. Please help me to remember that You have a plan for each one of us and that one plan is not better than another - just different and perfectly suited to the needs of each of our souls. In Jesus name, amen.
Written by
Mary M. Wilkins
As I found a seat my heart was still pounding and my head was bursting with thoughts of self-pity. I had just heard that one of my good friends wasn't coming tonight. She had decided to skip church and go see a movie alone. Her husband had announced it as if it was a normal thing - but in our circle of friends -it was not normal. And I was over-flowing (like an active and angry volcano) with jealousy.
I was jealous on two levels, as I proceeded to explain to God in much detail. First, how come she got to skip church and not be in trouble (see how immature I was!). After all, no one was gasping in disbelief that she wasn't there. It seemed to me that everyone was happy to excuse her for the evening.
Secondly, how come she got to go do something fun and I didn't? On top of that, the movie sounded like a beautiful love story, just my cup of tea.
Now no one told me I had to be at church every time the doors were open. We were young Christians and we wanted to be there - we enjoyed being with our friends and visiting with them before and after service. And although my husband and I didn't typically go to movies during that season of our lives, I could have. I didn't go because I didn't think of going.
I continued to pout and feel sorry for myself. When I explained my little drama to my husband after the kids were in bed, he simply said, "Go to the movie if you want."
A few days later I forgave my friend for doing a fun thing without me as she mollified my feelings by saying, 'Oh, you could have gone with me."
I never did go to the movie theater, and in those days we waited a long time for a movie to be available to rent at a video store. Some time later I thought fondly of my friend as I put the VHS tape of "When A Man Loves A Woman" in the player. Fifteen minutes later I humbly asked God to forgive me for ever feeling sorry for myself or being jealous of my friend. As tears flowed down my cheeks, I ached for my alcoholic girlfriend, and what she must have gone through, alone in the theatre that day, as God used a movie to bring her face to face with her addiction and what it was doing to her family.
By then, my friend had admitted to her problem, gotten help, and was on the road to recovery and health. I learned to be careful what I wish for, and not to envy another person's life, because no matter what I think I know, I have absolutely no idea what it is to be them.
Dear Lord, thank You for the creative ways You speak to us and the ways You can drive a message deep into our heart of hearts. Please help me to remember that You have a plan for each one of us and that one plan is not better than another - just different and perfectly suited to the needs of each of our souls. In Jesus name, amen.
Written by
Mary M. Wilkins
It is hard to know what it is like to walk in someone else"s shoes.
ReplyDeleteI can so relate to that. I have so many times been envious of others lives. I still struggle with that from time to time. I have to remember that God has a plan for me. I need to stop being worrisome woman and listen to what He is telling me to do. Which direction, as well as enjoy the ride along the way.
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