It's Not About Them, Part 2.....Monday

This is Part Two of this writing. Part One of it was posted last Monday. If you missed reading it you can look back by copying this link pasting it in a new tab. That will make it easier to come back to this writing when you are done. Here is the link...
      
 http://paintgodintoyourday.blogspot.com/2014/11/its-not-about-them-part-1monday.html 

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So, my church acquaintance didn't feel that way (loving and happy) about me and she couldn't fake it. I talked to the Lord and gave it much thought. I realized I didn't want her to pretend to like me. So what was the answer? What could I do? Then the age old verse that parents and Sunday school teachers everywhere have used to instill kindness and thoughtfulness in children came to mind:

Do to others as you would have them do to you.

Luke 6:31 NIV

If what I want is to feel that the people I meet are happy to see me, then I will start paying attention to those who I meet. Surely I can find a reason to smile and greet everyone I meet. I immediately felt a check in my spirit-be careful of flattery-I heard in a whisper. Ppfft, I got this, I answered back, squelching the warning but not quite forgetting it.

The following months zipped by and I discovered people who were happy to be greeted, others who were suspicious of my attentions, and even a few who called me out and asked me why I was happy to see them! Ouch, I caught my breath as my mind whirled for a truthful answer-their eyes narrowed knowingly as I stumbled over my words. I spent the next few weeks humbly asking God to forgive me for not guarding myself against flattery. 

Compliments and flattery are separated by sincerity and intent. On shaky legs with a penitent heart I continued my greetings. I did not want to be a pretender so I asked the Lord to show me something positive about everyone. Then I practiced being pleasant and attentive, all the while asking Him to help me guard my tongue from flattery.

Kind words are like honey--sweet to the soul and healthy for the body.

Proverbs 16:24 NLT

A few years later, at a large dinner table, I found myself seated across from one of those ladies I had longed to call my friend. We were in a comfortable setting, 20 of us were on a marriage retreat together. She observed to me that I had really become a very friendly person. I replied that I had been more outgoing for a few years now. Yes, she acknowledged, but lately I had really seemed so sincere. I thanked her for the compliment and thanked God inwardly for the work He had been doing in me.

I do not hate, nor am I annoyed with that group of ladies. They didn't hate me. I just did not belong to them. I can understand that now. When I see one of them on Facebook or in person when I visit, they are kind to me and I am glad to see them.

I am so far from perfect, and the list of my personal sins and struggles is longer than a hopeful child's wish list for Christmas. But this I know. When we ask God for wisdom, and then follow His lead, it will be worth the work and heartache (from discovering who you really are) as He leads us where we should go.

 A new commandment I give to you
|that you love one another;even as I have loved you, that you also love one another.John 13:34 RSV

Dear Lord, thank You for searching my heart and leading me into Your truth. Thank You for hearing my heart's cry for friendship and belonging and answering my need by teaching me to be friendly and welcoming. It turn's out it really was all about me and all about them because You love us all. In Jesus name, amen.

Written by Mary M. Wilkins

Matt Maher performs "Lord, I Need You"