A Party Girl
I love parties. Fun, food, and fellowship! Even if it’s a casual evening I still dress up my jeans by rifling through the jewelry tray looking for some sparkling addition. Then it’s a bright evening of meeting new people, catching up with old friends, nibbling on lots of goodies, laughing and celebrating that we are here and it’s that time of year again.
Christmas is here! I’ve been thinking about it since September. Well, not exactly thinking, more like worrying about it. I can do the math. Income that barely covers the month in September isn’t going to miraculously stretch to cover every corner of a winter month that includes family presents, special foods, gift exchanges, warm clothes, and boots.
After I consider all the things I need to make Christmas happen, I daydream about what it might feel like to buy whatever I want without limit. Then I finish off this fantasy by going to a party. It is a very special event just for me: a pity party.
Perhaps the last time you saw a pity party take place it was in the life of a toddler who wasn’t getting her own way. Well, I am older than a toddler, but it hasn’t kept me from engaging in these private events whenever I am feeling sorry for myself.
“Are you mad?” my mother asked as she gave me a sideways glance while steering the car on to our next stop. My 8 year old arms crossed and my chin down I would shake my head no. “Are you feeling sorry for yourself?” she continued. As I nodded my head yes and tightened my arms, I sunk deeper into the seat. “Well, you can feel sorry for yourself if you want. Just let me know when you are done.” After what seemed like 5 minutes she would ask me, “Are you done yet?” Sometimes I said yes and we went on to talk about other things. Sometimes I wasn’t done and she’d let me wallow in silence for another 5 minutes before asking me if I was ready to come out yet.
In a bible study lesson humorously labeled “My life is so miserable; I feel sorry for myself because my life is wretched!” the author describes self-pity as the God- given gift of compassion turned inward. Anytime we take something God intended for us to give to others and turn it on ourselves it won’t produce good fruit. For instance, if we take God’s gift of love and focus it on ourselves more than we pour it out on others, selfishness and self-centeredness are the result.
I hadn’t thought of my lapses of sorrow as misusing God’s compassion. God blessed my mother with the insight that she needed to train me to choose how I thought when I was young. Now I am the grown up and I need to let God help me choose the right focus.
Matthew 6:31-33 (NLT)
“So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘
What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’
What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’
These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers,
but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs.
Seek the Kingdom of God[d] above all else, and live righteously,
and he will give you everything you need.
It isn’t pleasant for me to discover that I am doing something that is not only bad for me but displeases God. But I would rather He show me my sin so that I can be free instead of leaving garbage inside of me.
Proverbs 28:13 (CEV)
If you don't confess your sins, you will be a failure.
But God will be merciful if you confess your sins and give them up.
Dear Lord, please help this party girl to turn away from feeling sorry or disappointed. You know everything that is going on in my life and the world around me AND You have it all under control. Please help me to choose to be happy with my circumstances. In Jesus name, amen.
Written by
Mary M. Wilkins
Mary M. Wilkins
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