I Don’t Hate This Person
Yesterday, I said something to myself that was hard to swallow. I cried out, “I have to keep reminding myself that I don’t hate my children.” I know! How could I say such a thing?
You see what really was going on in my mind is that I hate their behavior. I mean, how long can I endure the bullying, crying, teasing, hitting, etc? Of course I teach and train them to love, but patiently waiting for them to change stirs up so much emotion in me, I want to yell, scream, curse, and basically thrash around having a tantrum. In fact, I’m tempted to say things that would sound as if I hated my own children. So, I remind myself that I don’t.
Separating emotions is a tricky thing to do. Wanting to direct them in the wrong place is a great temptation even for the most patient of people. Yet, not doing so has serious repercussions.
Maybe it’s the neighbor who gossips about everyone, the married co-worker who flirts uncontrollably, or the friend who continues to cause problems in everybody’s lives because of the prison of her addiction. It’s the same old lesson of hating the sin, but loving the sinner. It’s not excusing the behavior, but it is being Christ to the person.
In today’s world, the Christian has the reputation of being hypocritical, intolerant, and even hateful. I understand how the world can misconstrue our intentions of taking a stand on certain issues. Unfortunately, they’ve also witnessed too many times the very ones who are self proclaimed to be Christ-like failing to separate their emotions. In fact, many don’t even realize that they are supposed to separate them.
I suppose it could be just a matter of reminding ourselves over and over again, “I don’t hate this person. I don’t hate this person. I don’t hate this person.” Whatever it takes, It’s important…extremely important…because not doing so can mean lost souls. And let’s not forget that just because we’re saved by grace does not mean that we are perfect. We could be making it just as difficult for others to not hate us because of our own behavior. I hope others are able to find the dividing line between the two with me and love me in spite of the areas I still struggle in.
I’d like to believe that I could never hate someone, but when too much anger gets stirred up, well as I’ve written about before, let’s just say we are all capable of even the worst of sins. I love my children. I love people. But it is tempting to take the hate I have for wrong behavior and direct it at the person. So, I pray that I never stop reminding myself.
Amie Spruiell
3/16/12
Thanks for the amazing insight and reminder!
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