6/9/14
This post is the conclusion of three posts in WFM devotionals. If you have not read Part 1 or Part 2 here are the links...
Part 1
http://paintgodintoyourday.blogspot.com/2014/05/my-adventure-in-getting-out-of-boat.html
Part 2
http://paintgodintoyourday.blogspot.com/2014/06/my-adventure-in-getting-out-of-boat.html
______________________________________________________________________
Final Installment
In my mind I complain, "Why did He save me at the end, instead of helping me in the beginning?"
"Because you didn't ask Him," a small voice inside my head protests. "He offered, but you kept saying no." I sigh inwardly.
I am able to fish and feed myself so we have gone back to the way things were before. I stay on my boat and He swings by to visit me. I make a lot of trips to the shore. I feel bitter as I look at each house thinking those people have never known what it is like to suffer, or struggle, or drown. I am not happy in town, so I never stay long. I go back often because I don't understand how I can long for and hate the same thing. I get into the habit of not eating again. My impatience has grown and I no longer like fish. I want a better life, and I want to be better. I just want an easy and painless way to get there.
It's one of those glorious mornings when the water is as smooth as glass reflecting the beauty of the sun and sky. My BFF is there and we are finishing breakfast when He surprises me by asking, " Are you ready for take two?"
"What?" I exclaim as I choke on a sip of water. "Are You serious? I totally failed last time! Why would You want to try to teach me again?"
Smiling patiently, He looks me straight in the eye. "Because you are my BFF, and this is why I made you. This is why I gave you a boat. This is why I come visit you every day and why I taught you to fish." He continued, "Did you notice when you were walking with me, that we were closer than when we are on the boat?"
"Yes," I confess. I did recall the closeness and had missed it since, feeling the loss even in our conversations.
"Well," He continues, "I want it to be like that all the time. That is why I am willing to help you try again."
I want to get out of the boat, walk with Him, be close to Him, I want to be brave and strong but I'm so scared of failing again. Worry is chewing on my bravery, I want to dive in, but surely another failure would be worse than the first since I will 'know better'? Then a thought occurs to me.
"Can't I follow You in my boat?" I suggest hopefully.
A smile spreads across His face, "No. No, it isn't the same; you have to get out of the boat."
"Okay," I hesitate, "Well, this time I want to plan ahead. How can I walk on the water with You and carry my fishing pole?"
"You don't need a fishing pole."
"Yes, I do. It's the only way I can get myself food," I assert awkwardly.
"Remember all the times I fed you when you were weak? Did I ever use a fishing pole?"
I hadn't realized that before. "But," I mumble, "I don't want to inconvenience You."
"You are not an inconvenience, I love feeding you." His eyes light up and the warmth of His words makes me almost uncomfortable as I struggle to understand Him and myself.
"What about my pajamas and my favorite pillow? How will I carry them?"
"Why do you need them?" He asks simply.
"They help me sleep. They make me comfortable."
Patiently He replies, "But don't I provide you comfort?"
I laugh, a little embarrassed, "Yes, but it's not the same. Sometimes I have nightmares and I hold my pillow tight for comfort." It seems a perfectly reasonable explanation to me.
"Don't you think I can handle your nightmares? Don't you think I can hold you closer than you can hold a pillow?" He asks gently.
Taken aback, I reply, "I didn't think You'd want to hold me!"
"Why not?"
"Because I can be restless, and I kick, or talk, and wake myself up, I don't even know everything I do when..."
"BFF!" He speaks loudly, claiming my attention, "I'm not worried! You tell me what you need, and I will get it for you. When you walk, we walk. When you need rest, we rest. When you are ready for food, we eat. I want you to be close to me, not unhappy. I want to share life with you, not deprive you of it. I am here to make things better, not worse."
His eyes are staring straight into mine, and the truth and power of His reassurances and promises are flowing out of Him and filling my heart and mind. The love is overwhelming. I am not ready, but I don't want to wait. I don't want to wait for the life I can have with Him.
I step up to the edge; I look down at the waves, at Him. And I step.
Written by Lizzy Wilkins
Posted by Mary M. Wilkins
This story is a personal vision that God gave me as I was making big changes in my life and struggling to resist fear, and trust God with all the details of my future. I share it just to say, no matter what you are going through, no matter how alone you may be or feel, you are not actually alone. He will meet you right where you are at in your life. God bless you, Lizzy
This post is the conclusion of three posts in WFM devotionals. If you have not read Part 1 or Part 2 here are the links...
Part 1
http://paintgodintoyourday.blogspot.com/2014/05/my-adventure-in-getting-out-of-boat.html
Part 2
http://paintgodintoyourday.blogspot.com/2014/06/my-adventure-in-getting-out-of-boat.html
______________________________________________________________________
Final Installment
In my mind I complain, "Why did He save me at the end, instead of helping me in the beginning?"
"Because you didn't ask Him," a small voice inside my head protests. "He offered, but you kept saying no." I sigh inwardly.
I am able to fish and feed myself so we have gone back to the way things were before. I stay on my boat and He swings by to visit me. I make a lot of trips to the shore. I feel bitter as I look at each house thinking those people have never known what it is like to suffer, or struggle, or drown. I am not happy in town, so I never stay long. I go back often because I don't understand how I can long for and hate the same thing. I get into the habit of not eating again. My impatience has grown and I no longer like fish. I want a better life, and I want to be better. I just want an easy and painless way to get there.It's one of those glorious mornings when the water is as smooth as glass reflecting the beauty of the sun and sky. My BFF is there and we are finishing breakfast when He surprises me by asking, " Are you ready for take two?"
"What?" I exclaim as I choke on a sip of water. "Are You serious? I totally failed last time! Why would You want to try to teach me again?"
Smiling patiently, He looks me straight in the eye. "Because you are my BFF, and this is why I made you. This is why I gave you a boat. This is why I come visit you every day and why I taught you to fish." He continued, "Did you notice when you were walking with me, that we were closer than when we are on the boat?"
"Yes," I confess. I did recall the closeness and had missed it since, feeling the loss even in our conversations.
"Well," He continues, "I want it to be like that all the time. That is why I am willing to help you try again."
I want to get out of the boat, walk with Him, be close to Him, I want to be brave and strong but I'm so scared of failing again. Worry is chewing on my bravery, I want to dive in, but surely another failure would be worse than the first since I will 'know better'? Then a thought occurs to me.
"Can't I follow You in my boat?" I suggest hopefully.
A smile spreads across His face, "No. No, it isn't the same; you have to get out of the boat."
"Okay," I hesitate, "Well, this time I want to plan ahead. How can I walk on the water with You and carry my fishing pole?"
"You don't need a fishing pole."
"Yes, I do. It's the only way I can get myself food," I assert awkwardly.
"Remember all the times I fed you when you were weak? Did I ever use a fishing pole?"
I hadn't realized that before. "But," I mumble, "I don't want to inconvenience You."
"You are not an inconvenience, I love feeding you." His eyes light up and the warmth of His words makes me almost uncomfortable as I struggle to understand Him and myself.
"What about my pajamas and my favorite pillow? How will I carry them?"
"Why do you need them?" He asks simply.
"They help me sleep. They make me comfortable."
Patiently He replies, "But don't I provide you comfort?"
I laugh, a little embarrassed, "Yes, but it's not the same. Sometimes I have nightmares and I hold my pillow tight for comfort." It seems a perfectly reasonable explanation to me.
"Don't you think I can handle your nightmares? Don't you think I can hold you closer than you can hold a pillow?" He asks gently.
Taken aback, I reply, "I didn't think You'd want to hold me!"
"Why not?"
"Because I can be restless, and I kick, or talk, and wake myself up, I don't even know everything I do when..."
"BFF!" He speaks loudly, claiming my attention, "I'm not worried! You tell me what you need, and I will get it for you. When you walk, we walk. When you need rest, we rest. When you are ready for food, we eat. I want you to be close to me, not unhappy. I want to share life with you, not deprive you of it. I am here to make things better, not worse."
His eyes are staring straight into mine, and the truth and power of His reassurances and promises are flowing out of Him and filling my heart and mind. The love is overwhelming. I am not ready, but I don't want to wait. I don't want to wait for the life I can have with Him.
I step up to the edge; I look down at the waves, at Him. And I step.
Written by Lizzy Wilkins
Posted by Mary M. Wilkins
This story is a personal vision that God gave me as I was making big changes in my life and struggling to resist fear, and trust God with all the details of my future. I share it just to say, no matter what you are going through, no matter how alone you may be or feel, you are not actually alone. He will meet you right where you are at in your life. God bless you, Lizzy
I want to thank Lizzy for sharing this story that is so impactful. We just need to trust Him to take care of us and to lead us with him as we walk on water making decisions for our life choices. If you have not read it all please click on the links to read Parts 1 and 2.
ReplyDeleteGod bless...