12/6/13
Most of my adult life I have been chained with the
hopelessness of depression. It is an
illness that you have to be careful about sharing with people, even friends, if
they haven’t been in those shackles of despair that truly have no idea what it
feels like. They will tell you to get
over it, pull up your boot straps, or, it is all in your head…..etc, etc. Having the additional stigma of judgmental
people on top of my depression caused me to feel even more stuck, lonely,
something is wrong with me. Not able to
enjoy a lot of life due to the sadness and anxiety.
Oh yes, I finally reached out for help, had some therapy,
was prescribed medication. These
certainly helped and got me over the doom.
The dark cloud would always come back to chain me up with negative self
talk, such as I am not good enough or I have sinned too much in my life for God
to care about me. The worst episode of
depression has been the most recent. My
two sons had grown to be independent young men, at the same time my hormones
are going nuts; apparently normal for a woman my age! I feel as though I have no purpose in life
now. The dark thoughts that the enemy
puts in my head are terrorizing me. The
only think I have done right in my life was raising my sons. I can’t get control of my crying, I feel
worthless, angry, and exhausted. Family,
clients, co-workers are concerned. I am
not myself. I feel chained and shackled
in a miserable darkness.
When the pain gets bad enough I reach for help….my mind
opens enough to remember the miracle of Jesus.
The reality is that this entire time God never left me….however, I left
him. Finding excuses for not making it
to church, not asking for prayer, not sharing with my sisters in Christ. He is always there for all of us. All we have to do is seek and ask. When I finally reached out to Him with my
heart truly in it, those chains were broken and the shackles released. I am simply in awe of the life I have with
Christ in the center of everything that I do.
When the ugly, negative self-talk begins to creep in I turn to God and
smile, and then thank Him for allowing me to be the person that He created me
to be.
The reality is that this entire time God never left me….however, I left
him. Finding excuses for not making it
to church, not asking for prayer, not sharing with my sisters in Christ. He is always there for all of us. All we have to do is seek and ask. When I finally reached out to Him with my
heart truly in it, those chains were broken and the shackles released. I am simply in awe of the life I have with
Christ in the center of everything that I do.
When the ugly, negative self-talk begins to creep in I turn to God and
smile, and then thank Him for allowing me to be the person that He created me
to be.
Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble,
and He saved them from their distress.
He brought them out of
darkness and the deepest gloom
and broke away their chains.
and broke away their chains.
Let them give thanks to the Lord for his unfailing love
and his wonderful deeds for men.
Psalm 107:13-15
and his wonderful deeds for men.
Psalm 107:13-15
Written by
Kelly Dobyns
Here is a song for today by Casting Crowns...
It is good when someone learns to turn to God at every instance of the lies of the enemy. He is our help and salvation in times of pain.
ReplyDeleteGod bless...
Corinne, I love love love the picture you chose for this devotional. So perfect. I have been doing that all week as I listen to this song.....raising my arms and head to Him.
ReplyDeleteKelly, I too am learning that the negative self-talk is stealing praise and thanksgiving from our Lord. I meditate on my feelings instead of replacing them with thoughts of Him and hope in Him. Ah, the human nature is sneaky. I'm now seeing that mind-set as a slap to His face - that's instead of putting my hands on his cheeks, looking him in the eyes, and saying Thank You, Jesus, Your my life, my rock, my salvation, my source and resource, please forgive me for neglecting you and accepting my belated praise and thanksgiving.
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