On the drive home my 15 year old daughter was mulling the purpose of life in the face of this death. As she talked through her theology trying to make sense of what hasn't made sense for thousands of years, I was at a loss. I had no answer, the answers that did come to mind, I knew would seem trite or dismissive. So I let my daughter think out loud and I really listened. Better than I perhaps had been prone to listen as of late.
One thing we agreed on was that this young women had enjoyed education and she was an honor's student for her own pleasure and satisfaction not just to make others proud of her. In that moment, like a flash of lightening, I had a monumental shift in my expectations of my young adult children.
No one knows what tomorrow brings. We may anticipate joys or sorrows but it is not in our control. I began to consider my middle children who were still making their way in career or school. I had always said college or career, it was up to each one, BUT in my heart I found I had hopes and expectations that each one would choose a certain path. Then I thought, what if this one dies in an accident at an early age like this young woman from church? Do I want to have spent my emotional energy and relationship time trying to direct them to follow my path of expectations? No, I did not.
Right then I took another baby step towards letting go and allowing my young adults to choose what they do. Of course, my husband and I have basic expectations, such as being a contributing member of our household. But that day I cut another apron string that allowed them more freedom to figure out who they will choose to be without my standing by with commentary, opinion, warning, and wisdom about everything they do or talk about doing.
Unconditional love has so many layers. Every time I have an aha moment I am so excited to have arrived. But soon God shows me something else, and I let go of another string I didn't know I was gripping with all my might.
This is love: it is not that we loved God
but that he loved us
and sent his Son as the sacrifice that deals with our sins.
Dear friends, if God loved us this way,
we also ought to love each other.
No one has ever seen God.
If we love each other,
God remains in us
and his love is made perfect in us.
1 John 4:10-12 CEB
Dear Lord, thank You for Your beautiful example of love and patience with me. Please help me to remember to be loving and patient with those closest to me (including myself). Thank You for each lesson, each baby step. I would have given up on me by now, but I am so grateful that You never give up on any of us. In Jesus name, amen.
Written by Mary M. Wilkins
Rebecca St James performs "You Make Everything Beautiful"
It is amazing when you can trace the advent of the baby steps that lead you to an aha moment. Things happen in our lives that lead us to new understandings that are amazing.
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