My Frustration, My Choice...Monday

I like this prayer by author and speaker John Maxwell:

"Dear Lord,
So far today, I've done all right.
I haven't gossiped, I haven't lost my temper,
I haven't been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish, or over-indulgent.
I'm really glad about that.
But in a few minutes, God, I'm going to get out of bed,
and from then on, I'm probably going to need a lot more help!”

 

I have read books on anger; listened to cd’s on love; and even attended a well-known anger seminar. I had an epiphany at the seminar. As I was taking notes, I thought to myself, “Okay, exactly what makes me angry?” I wrote in the margin of my workbook these shocking words: “When I don’t get what I want.”

 

I smiled a little guilty half-smile.

It was suddenly so clear and so simple. My real problem wasn't anger, it was selfishness!! I get angry when things are not going my way. I get angry when I am doing things because of other people's expectations, especially my own! For instance, when I cook dinner at the end of a long and tiring weekend, that is my choice. When I don't disturb what my family members are doing in order to ask for help, that is my choice. When I do things I am not really interested in doing but I want to support the other person, that is my choice.

 

Doing anything when I don't want to can be a loving sacrifice. But when I allow even one jot of frustration to stay in my heart it will turn into resentment. Then bitterness will begin to grow within me.

 

"Have mercy on me, O God,

 according to your unfailing love;

 according to your great compassion

 blot out my transgressions."

 Psalm 51:1-3 NIV

Dear Lord, I thank You that You are not finished with me yet! Thank You for not leaving me in my mess, and for searching my heart and not leaving any mess in me. I know I think I have great reasons for the things I do and do not do. Thank You for showing me that I need to take my eyes off of myself and everyone else and to put my focus on You. I truly desire to love You Lord, with my whole heart, mind, and soul. Thank You for Your immense compassion, may it fill me up to overflowing and pour out of me through my words, looks, and actions. In Jesus name, amen.

Written by Mary Wilkins

 

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d_BLbj5q8_0