Dreambarking

                                           

Do you ever wonder what goes on inside a dreaming dog? I have the joy of living with a very active four legged dreamer. She can be lying peacefully on her side, her back, or curled up like a donut and start to twitch and act a little fidgety. Her front legs start flapping, like she’s treading water. Next thing, she begins to make soft woofing noises, intermixed with a bit of whimpering and a few quiet little barks that sound more like hiccups. I call it “dreambarking.” She sleeps so soundly, that I can pick her up and move her from place to place, and she doesn’t even wake up. She may open her eyes to a glassy slit, but keeps on sleeping and dreaming, totally unaware of her change of venue. At the most, if I start to pick her up and she’s lying on her side, she will salute me with her hind leg, but not resist my transporting her from couch to bed.

How peacefully dogs sleep. They are totally unconcerned about work or money or the war or someone stealing their identity. Since this little dog hasn’t been exposed a lot of external stimuli throughout her life, I assume she must have a very vivid imagination. Or perhaps she’s watched a little too much TV. She sleeps an average of 20 hours a day and is 14 years old, so she’s had over 100,000 hours to practice dreambarking. No wonder she’s an expert! What I’d really love to know, is what she could possibly be dreaming about – it must really be something!

Since dogs don’t waste their time worrying or dreaming about things out of their control, I’m thinking they are dreaming dreams of joy. I believe my little dog dreams of running leash free through a muddy field, chasing anything that moves. There is just so much out there to get excited about. Life is simply just a hoot! A dog can smell a cat a block away—now that’s a dream come true. I think God made cats just a bit faster than dogs, just to provide exercise. No gym membership needed there – and what a workout! Dogs don’t worry about where their next meal is coming from. They just eat whatever’s handy. Fashion is of no concern to them either – they’re always in style, and their clothes are wash and wear – no dry cleaning bills. Aging is no big deal – fur makes a much better cover-up than wrinkle cream in a jar, and, it’s free.

I’ve never heard of a dog asking for a raise or a vacation. What would a dog do with money? They have no pockets, don’t carry a purse or a wallet, and don’t need a bank account – yet they are happier than a millionaire. And, they have no debts! No way can anyone steal their identity—they have no social security number, pin number or Visa card. It must be pure joy to have no money concerns, even though they have no income or hope of a job (especially at 14!). A dog’s life is like one long vacation. No worries.

People spend a lot of time and money trying to get other people to love them. Dogs just assume everyone loves them. And, they love back without abandon. They don’t care what we look like, how we smell, or how old we’ve gotten, they just love us for the love of loving us—that’s enough.

I think I could learn a few things from my dog about loving, relaxing and giving up worry. People spend way too much time thinking about dying when God intended us to live every day to its fullest. Even when dogs are sick, they aren’t worried about what will happen to them. They just know they’re not feeling well, and they rest. Dogs just don’t have the capacity to worry. Ever notice that people who worry cause people around them to worry as well? Carefree people, and animals, spread joy and calm the nerves of those around them.

Dogs seem to understand God’s Words to us: All our days were ordered especially for us before any of them came to be. How foolish we are to spend even one minute of a day in worry! Each day is a gift, not to be wasted.

Paula Glauber Sept. 2011

Falling Flat on My Face

Yes! I do believe that God has good plans for my life, no matter how things may look at this moment (or this week, or next week, or next month). I am reading my bible study assignment and I am excited! I have been allowing negative thoughts and worry filled thinking to fill up my mind and my time. But no more! I am a daughter of the Most High God. I will think on those things that are lovely, just, etc. I will remember God’s promises and keep them at the forefront of my mind.

A few hours later, I am in the kitchen and a teenager greets me. I snap. What did he do or say, you ask? I believe the precise language was “What’s up?” But I heard so much more. I heard disgruntled. I heard sulky. I heard why do I have to be here? I heard myself being just a little negative.

What happened? As far as I can tell, although it is hard to admit, I responded on auto-pilot. I was reacting to thoughts in my head not words from my son’s mouth. Then I was really ticked. I was angry that I was angry for no apparent reason. What happened to all the good intentions from bible study? Where are my well laid plans?

If GOD doesn't build the house, the builders only build shacks.

If GOD doesn't guard the city,

the night watchman might as well nap.

It's useless to rise early and go to bed late,

and work your worried fingers to the bone.

Don't you know he enjoys

giving rest to those he loves?

Psalm 127:1-2 (The Message)

Since I am sure God approves of my choosing to be positive and getting rid of negative thoughts (see 2 Corinthians 10:5) then the goal isn’t the issue, it must be the method. I made plans, I determined, I said. But no matter how I add up all those I’s, they don’t equal power to overcome my sin. So, while I am down here, having fallen flat on my face let me regroup. Regroup is code for admitting it didn’t work my way and now I am ready to do it God’s way (step by step with Him).

Dear God, I thought I worried a little too much, I thought I was a little too quick to anger. I had no idea that my mind was so far out of control. Please deliver me from this pit of negativity and fear. Please set my feet upon the Rock. Please be my strength that I might crawl inch by inch out of the mud towards the fresh green grass I know is waiting for me (see Psalm 23)! Thank You, Lord that I fell flat, that will help me remember that I cannot overcome myself in my own strength. I need You, Lord, please help me with my doubts (see Mark 9:24). In Jesus name, amen.

Written by Mary M. Wilkins

"I Will Trust The Lord At All Times"

I am so thankful that I can trust God in my life no matter what is happening in my world and all around me. I know I can cry out to Him and put my trust totally in Him for He is with me always.

In Psalm 20:7 it says,

"Some trust in chariots,
and some in horses;

But we

will remember

the name of the Lord

  our God."

I truly find great comfort and peace knowing that I can run to God and trust Him to help me through everything I face in my life.I will choose to trust in the Lord God Almighty at all times!

Blessings,

Sandy Billingham

Fruit of the Spirit

But the fruit of the Spirit is

But the fruit of the Spirit is

love, joy, peace,

longsuffering, gentleness,

goodness, faith

Galatians 5

Since love is a fruit, a product, of God's Holy Spirit, could its companion, joy, be produced in us differently? Like love, joy is not the product of the natural mind but the product of the supernatural Holy Spirit of God. If it is not a product of the natural mind, then pursuing it apart from the guidance of the Holy Spirit will produce only very limited and pale imitations of what God experiences by nature and greatly desires to be in us.

David writes,

"You will show me the path of life; in Your presence is fullness of joy;

at Your right hand are pleasures forevermore"

(Psalm 16:11).

It is interesting to compare our joy with God's continual joy and simultaneously think of what destroys joy for us. As long as we are human, joy diminishes and eventually ends. We realize this even as we experience it. I have owned several new automobiles. Each time I took a new one home, I received it with joy as if I had a new toy. But in each case I eventually acquired the same attitude toward the new car as I formerly had toward the old one. The joy was gone, and the car was again nothing more than a tool to convey me from one place to another.

No matter how secure the sources of our joy seem, we know joy does not last long. We may die; a mate or a friend who brings us joy may die; good health ceases; comforts vanish; social tragedies and natural disasters destroy loved things, properties depreciate and wear out; and our senses become dull so that we cannot see, hear, taste, feel, or smell as we once did (II Samuel 19:31-35).

The God who created everything is aware of all the human tragedies that have unfolded before His eyes over the past 6,000 years, and He still finds cause to be joyful. Our great God does not find joy in the tragedies themselves. His Word records times when He expressed regret, sorrow, or anger over the conduct of mankind, and yet He still experiences a vibrant, lasting joy. This seems to imply that His joy generally wells from different sources than mankind's. It is this joy we need to seek.

submitted by ; Annie

Teachability

Devotional for 9/26/11

A gardener goes out to tend his beautiful, lush garden, the patchwork of colors filtering into his eyes and the aromatic fragrance filling his senses.

He finds the weeds have entered his garden gate and have intertwined with his verdant vegetation. They have become so intertwined, alongside his abundant flora, that they both look as if they have become one plant…What’s one to do?

Call on the Master Gardener. His love of what your life creates, of the tasks you put your hand to, of the others who visit your planting, is enormous and all encompassing, for He has the eye to see the beauty of your life work. Ask the Master to guide you to the plants that are weeds and trust that He is speaking to you, guiding you as you move forward, row by row, so that by His word you may remove that which has no place within your garden gates…

Teachability – not truly seeing the way, not relying on your own knowledge, but being willing to ask to be guided; then to put action to the words given and move. Asking, hearing or receiving, Action.

Teachability – blind to your way of doing things, willing to hear and move forth with trust in who spoke.

Our great and mighty God, Your word says, Ps 32:

“I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;
I will guide you with my eye…

and again in Ps 25:4

Show me your ways O Lord; teach me your paths…

May we this day surrender our way of self reliance. May we trust in your hand working in our lives, working a perfect outcome, one that gives you the glory You so rightly deserve, and surrenders our way of thinking unto the Holy Spirit’s gentle guidance. We may not fully understand, nor clearly see, but this day we put our trust in You, in every area of our lives.

Kathy B

CALL ME

There was a case in the news recently where a woman called her ex-boyfriend 65,000 times in one year! She was arrested for stalking, but insisted they had a relationship and that number of calls was not excessive. If she really did have a relationship with him, would that many calls be excessive even then? Should she expect him to answer all those calls? Sounds like it would be quite aggravating to say the least.

But what about God? Does he get tired of us calling on him, our constant badgering, asking him for things, demanding his attention?

Answer me when I call to you, my righteous God.

 Give me relief from my distress; have mercy on me

and hear my prayer.

Psalm 4:1 NIV

We have a special relationship with God, closer than any other. Does He think 65,000 prayers from one person in one year would be excessive? I think not! He wants us to turn to him throughout the day, with every concern on our heart. 65,000 x 7 would not be too many!

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28 NIV

Let us always remember that God is there for us, every minute of every day... and night!

written by Jan Andersen

Sooo…You’re Only Trying To Help?

I just noticed something. In Genesis 4:7, it talks about the nature of sin. It basically says that sin’s desire is for mankind. Naturally that would mean that it desires to control us. What I hadn’t noticed before is that the same phrase is used only a chapter before when the punishment for sin is pronounced on man and woman. However, in this case, in Genesis 3:16, the phrase is referring to woman’s desire for her husband meaning her desire is to control him. I had not noticed before that the exact same phrase is used to describe the nature of both sin and of the wife.

Ouch! That really hurts…to think that this temptation that all wives face to control their husbands is the same nature of sin to control all people, really really hurts. I mean these days it’s basically a joke, right? We see it in television programs and in movies all the time how women are portrayed to easily have control over men, and the message even comes across as justifying the wife to do this to her husband. Well, I guess it’s no surprise that the world is backwards in its thinking, but even for those of us who realize how backward these messages are, it’s still difficult to push away that desire.

The truth is we even make allowances for this kind of behavior in Christian circles talking as if men just don’t see things the way we do and they need to have our insight. That may be true, but it shouldn’t be manipulated, done by force, or stemming from the wrong motivations, for that’s when the area of control comes in. Though Christian women don’t agree with controlling men with our sex appeal, they often will make excuses for controlling them in other ways. How many times do we say to ourselves, “I’m only trying to help…isn’t that what I’m supposed to be, a helpmate?”

It saddens me to hear women talk about the ignorance of men when it was the woman who was first deceived. Have we all forgotten? Not that man had no blame in the matter. He was right there with her, and he actually carried the burden of responsibility, ladies, so don’t get angry with him. I suppose that any woman who believes that the male population as a whole has less brains than the female population would believe that Eve was not to blame for her sin. I believe that many Christian women believe that Adam and Eve were both to blame and that God made each sex to think differently but still with valuable insight to offer each other. Yet, in spite of knowing this we still struggle with the desire to control.

I’m wondering if we realize that what we’re doing is just as evil as what sin does to us, would it stop us from going there? I’m sure that just like with me, realizing it will make us think harder and more cautious about it, but I know it’s not enough to stop it completely. The only way to successfully crucify this temptation is with the power of God’s grace. We can’t do it alone, but God can do it through us. After all, it’s not a bad thing for men to be the ones in charge (unless they’re abusing that power). It’s only bad for us women to keep on trying to undermine it.

We realize this truth when we begin to love like Jesus loves and see things through His eyes. Most of the time, that little phrase, “I’m only trying to help,” means we’re only trying to make ourselves look good for helping him. But when we love like Jesus, and the desire to “help” him comes up, we’re doing it to lift our husbands up not ourselves. Yes, it requires humility, but the blessing that comes in the end is much greater than the feeling of being in control and glorifying ourselves. After all God will lift up the humble, but He will humiliate the proud.

Amie Spruiell

9/23/2011

Apologize

I recently heard a song that my nephew played for me on his I-Pod…it is a current popular song and the title is “Apologize”.  The lyrics go on to say over and over throughout the song:

“It’s too late to apologize, it’s too late.  I said it’s too late to apologize, it’s too late, I said it’s too late to apologize, yeah yeah I said it’s too late to apologize, a yeah”

My heart wrenched within me because I recently had to apologize to someone that I love very much, and when I heard the words to that song my heart dropped as I felt my eyes tear up and a chocking heart ach feeling began to grasp  my throat.  After I had my emotional break down…I began to think about what the Bible says about Apologizing and what it really means.

Isn’t that what we do when we come to God…we apologize (repent of our sins).  What does the scripture tell us? 

In 1^st John 1:9 the Bible declares:

 “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just
to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us
from all unrighteousness. 

Another scripture that came to mind is found in Matthew 5:24 regarding the reality of having ought against your brother or your brother against you.  Verse 24 says:

 “Leave there thy gift at the alter, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift”.

One more thought provoking passage in Matthew 18: 21-22 says it like this: 

 “Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? 

Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee,

Until seven times; but, until seventy times seven”.

With that still lingering ….I regrouped my thoughts and told myself “That’s just a man made song”, and it’s not too late to apologize when I need to, and Lord willing, my brother/sister WILL forgive me.

Glenna Williamson

We are not alone

The economy, tsunami’s, earthquakes, poverty, fear, divorce, sickness, anger, hurt, rejection: a short list of things that can overwhelm my mind, filling my thoughts to the brim of my cup and overflowing into every area. I look around at the chaos and wonder, “What then should I do?” I hear a still small voice say, “Come to Me.”

He loves us - He’s been calling you and me to Him
since the day He knit us together in our mother’s wombs

(Psalm 139:13).

"This is how much God loved the world: He gave his Son, his one and only Son. And this is why: so that no one need be destroyed; by believing in him, anyone can have a whole and lasting life. God didn't go to all the trouble of sending his Son merely to point an accusing finger, telling the world how bad it was. He came to help, to put the world right again. Anyone who trusts in him is acquitted; anyone who refuses to trust him has long since been under the death sentence without knowing it. And why? Because of that person's failure to believe in the
one-of-a-kind Son of God when introduced to him.”

John 3:18 (The Message)

Think you’ve messed up too much for God to have any interest in you? Welcome to the club, we have all sinned and are unable to reach God by our own goodness. (Romans 3:23). Good news! If you believe in, trust in, and cling to God then the following scripture is true for you.

Nothing Can Separate Us from God’s Love 31 What shall we say about such wonderful things as these? If God is for us, who can ever be against us? 32 Since he did not spare even his own Son but gave him up for us all, won’t he also give us everything else? 33 Who dares accuse us whom God has chosen for his own? No one—for God himself has given us right standing with himself. 34 Who then will condemn us? No one—for Christ Jesus died for us and was raised to life for us, and he is sitting in the place of honor at God’s right hand, pleading for us. 35 Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death? 36 (As the Scriptures say, “For your sake we are killed every day; we are being slaughtered like sheep.”) 37 No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us. 38 And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. 39 No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us

from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord."

Romans 8:31-39 (NLT)

Here are two beautiful songs that remind us that we are not the only ones who need to come out of hiding, to let go of anything we are holding onto, and that He is waiting for us with open arms.

Rest by Nevertheless from their album In the Making (2008)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mx0VFitH1WY&feature=related
Something Classic - “Just As I Am” lyrics by Charlotte Elliott (1835)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_gGBMv42dJY&feature=related

God has not abandoned us nor left us

(2 Corinthians 4:8-10).

If we cry out to Him in our despair, He will rescue us

(Psalm 142).

Written by Mary M. Wilkins

"Embrace God's Promises"

I believe it is fair to say that everyone on this earth encounters problems at some time or other in their lifes. Some have had more than their share of problems than others, but we can all be certain that it is a Universal thing!

The question is, "What do we do with our problems when we are experiencing them?" We can choose to whine, and worry and be fearful and angry. Or the flip side is, we can trust God that He will help us through, every step of the way.

The good news is that for every problem we are having, there is a promise attached that we as His children have access to.

In 2 Peter 1:4 it says...

 " By which have been given to us exceedingly

great and precious promises, that through these

 you may be partakers of the divine nature,

having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust."

We have been given those exceedingly, great precious promises that we can partake in every day of our lifes. We can choose to embrace His word and believe what He says and expect for Him to help us in the midst of our problems. We do not have to walk it alone ever!

We do not have to focus on our problem but to focus on Christ, knowing He will be faithful to help us overcome every difficult thing we will ever face in this life.

Just knowing that gives me great comfort and peace that no matter what I face tomorrow, the Lord Almighty will give me strength to overcome! Embrace His promises today!

Blessings,

Sandy Billingham

Philippians 4:1

I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every

where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be

hungry, both to abound and to suffer need.
Phil 4:1

**************************************************************

Be aware, be warned, and be exhorted that, if we have any desire to overcome faults, if we sincerely desire to be in God's Kingdom, if we desire to be like God and glorify Him, we need to protect our relationship with Him. He is the Source of the power to do all things, even to grow while also enduring these intense times. Paul is saying that he knows how to discipline himself and thus keep on track in every circumstance of life. By this time in Paul's life, he had the skills required for making the best of every situation.

submitted by : Annie

Shattered Glass

"Put your trust in the light while you have it,

so that you may become sons and daughters of light."

-John 12:36

One Saturday morning while picking up the patio, it was after a late night bonfire my daughter shared with her friends on her birthday the night before, I realized I had tried to hold way too much when a glass seemed to jump out of my hands. There was shattered glass everywhere! I first thought, great, just what I need, more mess to clean up! I went inside to unload my arms and grab a whisk broom, bag and dustpan. Dreading the mess I had to face, as I got down on my knees, all of a sudden peace came over me. I looked and discovered that when sunlight struck the shattered glass, brilliant, colorful rays scattered everywhere. Shattered glass is full of a thousand different angles, each one picking up a ray of light and shooting it off in a thousand different directions. I stared for a long time before I could bring myself to clean it up. It was beautiful and something to be thankful for!

What's true of shattered glass is true of a broken life. Shattered dreams. A heart full of chards. Hopes that are splintered. A life broke in pieces. But given time and prayer, such a person's life can shine more brightly than if the brokenness had never happened. When the light of the Lord Jesus falls upon a shattered life, that believer's hopes can be brightened.

It's the nature of things that catch the light: The color and dazzle of light sparkles best through things that are shattered.

Only our great God can reach down into what otherwise would be brokenness and produce something beautiful. With Him, nothing is wasted. Every broken dream and every fear can be redeemed by His loving, warm touch. Your life may appear shattered, but God has in mind a kaleidoscope through which His light can shine more brilliantly.

Light of the world, may You shine today in dark places all over the earth. May broken people, hurt and disappointed, respond to Your loving touch. And may Christians become true children of light as You brighten their hearts and enlighten those around them. I present to You the parts of my life that are shattered. Shine, Jesus, shine!

Written by Terri Baker

AMAZING LOVE/YOU ARE MY KING

Our God is so amazing - he who was innocent suffered and died in our place, and rose again that we might have eternal life with him in heaven, because he loves us so much, in spite of our shortcomings - amazing!

I will be thinking of this while singing this song today in church, sung by Chris Tomlin and also by The Newsboys:

I'm forgiven because You were forsaken
I'm accepted, You were condemned
I'm alive and well, Your Spirit is within me
Because You died and rose again

Amazing love, how can it be
That You, my King, should die for me?
Amazing love, I know it's true
It's my joy to honor You
In all I do, to honor You

You are my King
Jesus, You are my King

May we always remember that we are not worthy yet forgiven, accepted, alive and well because we are so loved by God!

written by Jan Andersen

Labor of Love

What if my motives are wrong? What if there’s more of me and less of You? What if there’s not enough time to pull it all together? Those are some of the questions I asked myself and God as I made the decision to embark on a project of writing and performing a one woman drama.

My heart and my passion were there, but did I have Jesus right alongside of me? Did I have His blessing? I knew the messages delivered could be painful. I knew the story could be controversial. I knew that anything done motivated by my selfish desires would bear no fruit and would be like building my project with earthly materials which are easily burned up on the day that I stand before the Lord to be judged for my works.

So what could I do…give up on my passion?

No!

I would not give up on my passion to write, perform, and yes, to minister to women.

Should I continue on with my project with doubt and worry, questioning myself…questioning God’s Hand in it?

Absolutely not!

I would move forward in faith enveloped in prayer, manifested in my patience as I waited and waited and waited to hear from the Lord.

I’ve struggled over the years to hear His voice clearly. I suppose my mind gets too busy at times. Often, I’ll hear Him in my sleep, which makes sense since my mind is resting. I’ve also struggled with having confidence in my own skill which in this case is a benefit. It stops me from moving forward in my own strength. I don’t trust anybody in their own strength, especially myself.

Often a comment like that leads others to build me up, but I don’t need to be built up. I need to hear His voice, feel His presence…know His will.

It’s perseverance in seeking His will that produces a product that will both bring forth fruit and withstand the fire.

I’m thankful for the passion and talents the Lord has given me. But most importantly, I’m thankful that because of them, I draw closer to Him. I scrutinize every line and then present each one to Him asking, “Is this one good?” I listen to the advice of others and then bring that to Him as well. If I like it, I ask Him to show me if there’s any reason not to. If I don’t like it, I ask Him if there’s a reason I should. I beg of Him to not let me be satisfied until I know that every word is under His blessing and every message is coated with His Spirit.

I find myself quite often saying, “OK, it’s back to the drawing board.” How many times have I labored on the computer doing research and editing only to find that when I spoke the lines out loud, they were weak? So, back to the computer I would go to hit delete, delete, delete.

This labor of love has brought me to exhaustion saying, “I can’t do it any longer! I don’t even feel motivated anymore! I can’t stand hearing the sound of my voice call out one more line!”

Then He would give me rest, encouragement and a new idea. Ahhh…my motivation comes back. I’m hearing His voice. He is by my side. I do feel His strength to get up there and perform, presenting His love, His forgiveness, His miraculous power to transform each and every one of us…even me.

And that’s when I find myself under His submission and protection at the same time. Yes, it’s humbling, but yes, I’ll do it because He is my defense. I will get up there and allow my own weaknesses to flow through this character, because that’s when the world will see that His love will help me to rise above those weaknesses. And when I get to this point, I know my motives are pure. They are not to lift myself up, but to lift up Him and Him alone.

This labor of love that has felt like many, many months in the making, but in actuality has only been weeks, is now almost to completion. My prayers have been answered and my doubts have been put to rest. I waited…and I heard. Now I can do the best part, because my true labor of love is this…to glorify Him with my performance.

Amie Spruiell
9-16-2011

A Slave No Longer

“I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly.”
John 10:10 NAS

My fiftieth year began with a surprise. This was one year ago. My family had gotten together and planned a party for me. It was a good surprise. It would be nice if all of the “surprises” that we have in life were good… but they aren’t. I think that we all love the good surprises, the ones with the balloons, the smiles, and the laughter. Perhaps the best part is being around those whom you love, and who love you also.

I have come to understand that it has been the surprises in my life that weren’t so good, however, which have “shaped” me in so many different ways. I lost my Mother at my Father’s hands when I was four years old. Three very short years later my Father lost his life in a car accident. I wasn’t prepared for those surprises. There was absolutely no way that I could have been.

Suffering such a deep degree of loss at such an early age left me with a great big hole in my heart. The two people who were the most important to me in my life were both gone. They had been my primary source of love and care. They had been the ones to whom I turned to in order to get all of my needs met, and without them I was completely lost.

In order to get my most basic needs met, after my parents died I developed certain behavior patterns. I wasn’t actually aware of these things, as they were developed on a subconscious level. I was taken care of physically, but it was the deeper emotional needs that I so desired and longed for. I needed to be loved, I needed to feel valued, and I needed to feel as if I “belonged”… to anyone or to anything. I quickly discovered that being “good” was a behavior that would get me some of what I needed. I learned that a big part of being “good” was helping others. So, somewhere on the inside of me I decided that I would always be “good” and I would always help others.

I believed that if I did this, then I would receive a lot of love, and also approval from others. I also believed that it would stop others from leaving me, the way that my parents had. This was the beginning of a belief system and a pattern of behavior that I would eventually become enslaved to. In the end, it would be this behavior pattern that would in fact cause others to leave me… the very thing that I had tried so hard to avoid.

When you become a people pleaser, you eventually become a slave. You become dishonest, because you learn that telling the truth doesn’t always make others happy. You learn to avoid conflict, because conflict almost always causes separation. You learn to do things that you don’t want to do, because to say “no” to someone runs the risk of “losing” them. You learn to give up all of your own personal power, in order to let others have theirs.

When all you in do in your life is try and please others, you eventually become displeased with yourself. Somewhere inside of yourself you begin to understand that everything is a farce. Yes, others might seemingly approve of you and behave as if they love you, but inside you never know if it’s because they truly love you… or if they love the things that you are doing for them. You begin to question the sincerity of others, because somewhere inside, you begin to question your own… or the lack of it.

This is where I found myself. What had begun as something very innocent had ended up being anything but. My trying to “please” those around me had ended up becoming my attempt to control them instead. My trying to “help” had ended up being more of a hindrance. My trying to avoid the truth had ended up with me not being trusted. It seemed to me that everything that I had wanted so badly only became more and more out of my reach.

So, you ask, what did I do? The first thing I did was to be honest with myself about the way that I had been behaving. I then gave myself the same amount of grace that I would have given to someone else who found themselves in my situation. I knew that it wasn’t my fault that my behavior had begun as it did, there were some very good reasons for it. I realized then that I can only be responsible for the things that I understand. So, the past was the past. I can only forgive myself for the mistakes that I have made there… and then move on into the future trying not to make the same ones again. That is all I can expect from anyone else… and all that I can expect from myself.

The next thing that I had to do was to begin to respect myself and those around me to a deeper degree than I had been doing. That meant that I must tell the truth in my relationships. Even when it is hard to tell, I must love those around me enough to tell it. The Lord always tells me the truth, and it always helps me… it just isn’t easy for me to hear at first.

I believe that the Lord is the One Who brought this pattern of behavior to my attention. He is also the One Who is helping me to change it. I believe that He was grieved to see how enslaved I had become. He knew that it wasn’t ever going to give me the things that I wanted in life… so He came. He came close enough to me so that I could see the truth in Him. I could see and feel His everlasting love for me, and I knew that He would continue to be there to help me. I also knew that He would never leave me. I knew that He came to give me life… and to give it to me in abundance. I knew that He had come to set the captive free… and I knew that the captive was me.

Today I am thankful for the understanding the Lord has given me regarding this pattern of behavior in my life. The first step to changing something is to become aware of it. We cannot change something if we don’t even know it is there in the first place. I know that I will never be able to love others in an honest way until I first begin to honestly love myself. I also know that the Lord has answered me in this way because my prayer has been that He would teach me to love others more effectively. I know that the more I understand about myself, the more I can understand about others.

I would like to close with this prayer...

Thank you Lord for your truth.

Thank you for the freedom that truth brings.

Thank you that You give us a choice to follow you.

Please continue to help us to be more like You,

so that we might live,

love and lead others…

in truth and in nothing less.

May You be honored and blessed

 in all that we do.

                                                      Amen.

beverley a napier
september 13, 2011

Why Does My Child Persist in Taking the Easy Way?

Can I be honest with you? I’m cringing as I ask that because I am grateful for what happened this morning. But I am also ashamed about what led up to it.

I was talking to God and repenting for not getting something done that I know He told me to do (which was to write a check to the church). I was thanking Him for being so patient and forgiving of me. Then I started thinking about one of my children. My blood started to boil as I thought about some of the decisions this young adult has been making. I reviewed the repeated excuses in my head, mentally preparing a lecture filled with warnings and advice to fly straight or anticipate crashing.

Then my eyes were opened. I saw clearly the similarities of our disobedience and how we both were satisfying our personal desires instead of sacrificing, choosing the right thing and doing what is hard. But when it’s me, I trust that God, my Father in heaven, will love me through my poor choices and gently lead me in the way I should go. What was I doing with this child of mine? Being harsh, demanding and trying to think of ways to force them to do what is right. Sigh.

Fathers, don't exasperate your children by coming down hard on them.

Take them by the hand and lead them in the way of the Master.

Ephesians 6:4 The Message

I am very grateful for the timely and gentle correction although I shake my head at the realization of how often I need to be put right! I have been a child of God longer than my child has been alive, yet our perfect Father in heaven has not succeeded in making me a perfect child in all that time. His goal is for me to become mature in Christ and surely I can adjust my mind to allow my child the same privilege, patience and grace God grants to me.

“Thank you, Lord, for showing me the error of my thinking

 before I had a chance to open my mouth this time!”

Written by Mary M. Wilkins

"God's Perfect Love"

There is no better place than I would rather be, than in the presence of my God and resting in His perfect love. I enjoy fully engaging in Him in worship and prayer and basking in His peace and love.

I find that when my focus is off of the Lord and on difficult situations in my life, I do not handle life well at all. Fear begins to loom over me and I feel like my life is out of control.


God's word tells us in....

I John 4:18

"There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear,

 because fear involves torment.

But he who fears has not been made perfect in love."

When I am not trusting my Savior, fear can quickly turn into full-blown torment. God never intended us to live in torment. He gently draws us onto Himself and wraps His loving arms around us and lavishes His love all over us. His heart is that we are wrapped securely in His perfect love. When we are soaking and basking and resting in his love, all fear is cast out. God's perfect love overwhelms us!

Blessings,
Sandy Billingham

Sin and Salvation

Romans 3:23--
"For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God."

This is the very first verse I learned as a child ,it has such a marvelous message . It tells us that no matter how rich ,or poor, black or white , Jew or Gentile , we all sin . It's because we are human and the flesh is weak . As I used to tell my children , " there was only one perfect child born and He was nailed to a cross ."

What a message it is that our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ was nailed to a cross , for your sins and mine . Through Him we might be saved and spend eternity with Him in heaven . It says in the bible that as Christians we are joint heirs with Jesus ! That's so hard to wrap my brain around , sinner that I am , as are we all , my Jesus died for me and you and we are joint heirs with Him . It's never to late to declare you are a sinner and that Jesus is Lord and Savior and join the family of God .God bless you all ....hugs and love

submitted by : Annie