Sooo…You’re Only Trying To Help?

I just noticed something. In Genesis 4:7, it talks about the nature of sin. It basically says that sin’s desire is for mankind. Naturally that would mean that it desires to control us. What I hadn’t noticed before is that the same phrase is used only a chapter before when the punishment for sin is pronounced on man and woman. However, in this case, in Genesis 3:16, the phrase is referring to woman’s desire for her husband meaning her desire is to control him. I had not noticed before that the exact same phrase is used to describe the nature of both sin and of the wife.

Ouch! That really hurts…to think that this temptation that all wives face to control their husbands is the same nature of sin to control all people, really really hurts. I mean these days it’s basically a joke, right? We see it in television programs and in movies all the time how women are portrayed to easily have control over men, and the message even comes across as justifying the wife to do this to her husband. Well, I guess it’s no surprise that the world is backwards in its thinking, but even for those of us who realize how backward these messages are, it’s still difficult to push away that desire.

The truth is we even make allowances for this kind of behavior in Christian circles talking as if men just don’t see things the way we do and they need to have our insight. That may be true, but it shouldn’t be manipulated, done by force, or stemming from the wrong motivations, for that’s when the area of control comes in. Though Christian women don’t agree with controlling men with our sex appeal, they often will make excuses for controlling them in other ways. How many times do we say to ourselves, “I’m only trying to help…isn’t that what I’m supposed to be, a helpmate?”

It saddens me to hear women talk about the ignorance of men when it was the woman who was first deceived. Have we all forgotten? Not that man had no blame in the matter. He was right there with her, and he actually carried the burden of responsibility, ladies, so don’t get angry with him. I suppose that any woman who believes that the male population as a whole has less brains than the female population would believe that Eve was not to blame for her sin. I believe that many Christian women believe that Adam and Eve were both to blame and that God made each sex to think differently but still with valuable insight to offer each other. Yet, in spite of knowing this we still struggle with the desire to control.

I’m wondering if we realize that what we’re doing is just as evil as what sin does to us, would it stop us from going there? I’m sure that just like with me, realizing it will make us think harder and more cautious about it, but I know it’s not enough to stop it completely. The only way to successfully crucify this temptation is with the power of God’s grace. We can’t do it alone, but God can do it through us. After all, it’s not a bad thing for men to be the ones in charge (unless they’re abusing that power). It’s only bad for us women to keep on trying to undermine it.

We realize this truth when we begin to love like Jesus loves and see things through His eyes. Most of the time, that little phrase, “I’m only trying to help,” means we’re only trying to make ourselves look good for helping him. But when we love like Jesus, and the desire to “help” him comes up, we’re doing it to lift our husbands up not ourselves. Yes, it requires humility, but the blessing that comes in the end is much greater than the feeling of being in control and glorifying ourselves. After all God will lift up the humble, but He will humiliate the proud.

Amie Spruiell

9/23/2011