Falling Flat on My Face

Yes! I do believe that God has good plans for my life, no matter how things may look at this moment (or this week, or next week, or next month). I am reading my bible study assignment and I am excited! I have been allowing negative thoughts and worry filled thinking to fill up my mind and my time. But no more! I am a daughter of the Most High God. I will think on those things that are lovely, just, etc. I will remember God’s promises and keep them at the forefront of my mind.

A few hours later, I am in the kitchen and a teenager greets me. I snap. What did he do or say, you ask? I believe the precise language was “What’s up?” But I heard so much more. I heard disgruntled. I heard sulky. I heard why do I have to be here? I heard myself being just a little negative.

What happened? As far as I can tell, although it is hard to admit, I responded on auto-pilot. I was reacting to thoughts in my head not words from my son’s mouth. Then I was really ticked. I was angry that I was angry for no apparent reason. What happened to all the good intentions from bible study? Where are my well laid plans?

If GOD doesn't build the house, the builders only build shacks.

If GOD doesn't guard the city,

the night watchman might as well nap.

It's useless to rise early and go to bed late,

and work your worried fingers to the bone.

Don't you know he enjoys

giving rest to those he loves?

Psalm 127:1-2 (The Message)

Since I am sure God approves of my choosing to be positive and getting rid of negative thoughts (see 2 Corinthians 10:5) then the goal isn’t the issue, it must be the method. I made plans, I determined, I said. But no matter how I add up all those I’s, they don’t equal power to overcome my sin. So, while I am down here, having fallen flat on my face let me regroup. Regroup is code for admitting it didn’t work my way and now I am ready to do it God’s way (step by step with Him).

Dear God, I thought I worried a little too much, I thought I was a little too quick to anger. I had no idea that my mind was so far out of control. Please deliver me from this pit of negativity and fear. Please set my feet upon the Rock. Please be my strength that I might crawl inch by inch out of the mud towards the fresh green grass I know is waiting for me (see Psalm 23)! Thank You, Lord that I fell flat, that will help me remember that I cannot overcome myself in my own strength. I need You, Lord, please help me with my doubts (see Mark 9:24). In Jesus name, amen.

Written by Mary M. Wilkins