Saturday Devotional...He will never leave...not ever

I will be with you always, to the very end of the age.

 Matthew 28:20

People leave. I know that. Its something I dread, yet something I have a lot of experience with. My grandmother was the light of my life when I was small. My Mom would drop me off to stay with her for days at a time. She was my protector and always defended me, and loved me in spite of my childhood spoiled fits. I felt safe with her. I loved the way she smelled. Its funny when we really love someone the way they smell brings us comfort and connection. Its feeds my soul and brings a calm sense of everything is okay in this moment next to you. She was a VERY strong Christian. She read her Bible everyday, and I do not ever remember her saying an unkind word to me ever. I KNEW she loved me with out words spoken. It was there always like the air I breath. A spirit of love and peace, and  it brought me such joy as a child. When the days were getting closer to her death I knew she wanted to leave and go home to her Creator. Every Christmas for the past 10 years she would say, "Well this might be my last Christmas, I really want to go home." I used to get so mad. "Memmaw, don't say that. You are going to live for a long time." The next year she would say the same thing. Oh my goodness it was frustrating. I really wanted her to tell me she would be with me forever and never leave. But she knew she couldn't. Her destiny was heaven that was her eternal goal and she believed in it with all her heart.

She left us. The pain was unbearable, but I knew she was finally home. Her sick, failing body was made new, and she was finally next to her Creator whom she had worshiped with steadfast strength and confidence. I have her Bible, the one that she always had on her lap. In my teenage years I would run to her after one of my wild drunken spells sick from a weekend of parties and just lay next to her on her couch and feel her love.She would never question me about what had happened. She would just say, "Angie honey, you are not feeling good are you." I would just say, "No, Memmaw, I am sick." I did not want to scare her with my wild tale of rebellion, but I knew she knew. I still sleep with the blanket she had on her casket. It makes me feel like a part of her is still with me.

Jesus knew he would leave his friends that followed him. He also knew how much they depended on his unconditional love and friendship. He gave then strength and hope. A hope that they did not have in the world of their time. He promised them that He would leave something with them, that He would be with them always. The word always could be paraphrased to mean,  "I am with you all the days,, all day long" That means His spirit is still with us after His death, not just all day but in every moment, in every breath we take, in every thought, and even sometimes in the shining eyes and face of our loved ones. I have felt that spirit fill me up with love just like how I felt when I would sit next to my grandmother in times of heaviness. I know He loves just like she did, but He won't leave. EVER. Not even when I feel I have out sinned my welcome. He knows. He knew what I was going to do before I did it. But His presence is there waiting to comfort me and love me back to wholeness. He is my strength, my hope, my love, my everything. Always present. Eternally.

The eternal God is your refuge. 

Deuteronomy 33:27

Angie Madison