7/28/14
"Hey, I want what you guys have," the man addressed the small group of men who were gathered in the church foyer. The men looked at him, then at each other, and one of them said, "Go on the next mission trip. We'd be happy to have you."
The outsider's expression and voice had clearly communicated his hunger for camaraderie and friendship. I recognized his loneliness and asked my husband later if they would be including him in their group. He explained that they weren't actually a group that went out for pizza or bowling. When they crossed each other's paths (such as in the church foyer on Sunday mornings) they spent a few minutes in fellowship.
Feeling for all of us who have felt left out and wished we belonged, I pressed my husband and asked, "I understand that but I think the 5 minutes of chat over a cup of coffee would give him (or anyone) a sense of belonging." My husband's brow scrunched up trying to process my psychological thinking. Then it went smooth and he proceeded to tell me a story.
Once upon a time 64 people went on a mission trip to build a house for an orphanage. There were jobs for everyone. Some people did laundry for the team. A few more cooked meals to fill all of the hungry mouths. Many more hands did lots of little things to help those with more skills to build the house. All day long, sunup to sundown many men and some women labored together to build a house that would become a home to 20 rescued children.
The project manager had planned for a certain amount of work to be accomplished each day in order for the house to be done in 2 weeks. On day 2, the sun set before the work for that day was done. Eleven men stayed on at the house and kept working until late into the night. They pushed past their hunger, making do with beef jerky and other snacks. They fought off fatigue by encouraging each other. When the eleven finally crawled into bed in the wee hours, only their bodies were complaining. They were satisfied.
It was a God-sized vision to build a 4,500 square foot house in such a short time. During the day the team accomplished a lot, and each night the eleven would stay and finish the day's work. There were no prizes, no awards, no personal gain, just the satisfaction of knowing that what they did mattered.
"So you see," my husband concluded, "We aren't friends because we go to the same church. We have something else in common. We have been there, and done that." I was silent as he continued, "So I can invite the new guy to join us as we stand around and visit. But the connection we have with each other is probably what he's really hungry for and there's only one way to get that."
So much for my psychology, of course, we all know that veterans have an understanding of each other that the rest of us do not. Even as a mom, I haven't bonded with every mom I have met. It takes more than the similarities we have with each other to make a connection that will lead to satisfying fellowship.
"Hey, I want what you guys have," the man addressed the small group of men who were gathered in the church foyer. The men looked at him, then at each other, and one of them said, "Go on the next mission trip. We'd be happy to have you."
The outsider's expression and voice had clearly communicated his hunger for camaraderie and friendship. I recognized his loneliness and asked my husband later if they would be including him in their group. He explained that they weren't actually a group that went out for pizza or bowling. When they crossed each other's paths (such as in the church foyer on Sunday mornings) they spent a few minutes in fellowship.
Once upon a time 64 people went on a mission trip to build a house for an orphanage. There were jobs for everyone. Some people did laundry for the team. A few more cooked meals to fill all of the hungry mouths. Many more hands did lots of little things to help those with more skills to build the house. All day long, sunup to sundown many men and some women labored together to build a house that would become a home to 20 rescued children.
The project manager had planned for a certain amount of work to be accomplished each day in order for the house to be done in 2 weeks. On day 2, the sun set before the work for that day was done. Eleven men stayed on at the house and kept working until late into the night. They pushed past their hunger, making do with beef jerky and other snacks. They fought off fatigue by encouraging each other. When the eleven finally crawled into bed in the wee hours, only their bodies were complaining. They were satisfied.
It was a God-sized vision to build a 4,500 square foot house in such a short time. During the day the team accomplished a lot, and each night the eleven would stay and finish the day's work. There were no prizes, no awards, no personal gain, just the satisfaction of knowing that what they did mattered.
So much for my psychology, of course, we all know that veterans have an understanding of each other that the rest of us do not. Even as a mom, I haven't bonded with every mom I have met. It takes more than the similarities we have with each other to make a connection that will lead to satisfying fellowship.
Two people are better off than one,
for they can help each other succeed.
Ecclesiastes 4:9 NLT
Dear Lord, thank You for reminding me that it is up to me to reach out and be there for others. It is up to me to get out of my comfort zone, and do the something for someone else. Please help each of us to recognize what You are calling and encouraging us to do. Please give me ears to hear, and courage to step out. In Jesus name, amen.
Written by
Mary M. Wilkins
Mary M. Wilkins
It is true that important friendships and fellowship are something that must be built over time. However, a chance to begin this starts small by the goodness of a person who will reach out to the new guy/woman who is feeling like an outsider. It is important to welcome the person who is an outsider. I think that church people as a rule do a pretty good job at this. Just remember "if it is going to be it is up to me." The me in this quote is you. Offer fellowship to the newcomer.
ReplyDeleteGod bless...
I rely appreciate the insight that often times when I feel I can't break the invisible barrier into a group, it may not be me but rather their shared experiences which bonded them and are unique to them. It takes some pressure off of me trying to figure out what I am doing wrong.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Stacy, exactly!
ReplyDelete