The Door and The Window....Monday

7/7/14

Trying to focus on the Lord, I push thoughts of the past, sad moments, things to do, frustrating times, and embarrassment aside. 'I know Lord,' I say in my head, 'I am here to enter into worship and my mind is all over the place.' I join the singing and intently focus on the message we are singing to Him. As I close my eyes I see an image, there is an open doorway about 6 feet wide. I notice the frame of the doorway is solid but worn. Through the doorway I see stuff, but I can't tell what, the light is so bright yet cloudy at the same time. Then I see a window. Just to the right of the doorway is a large window with super clean glass. The window trim is in bright white perfectly painted condition. The only thing I see through the window is a beautiful solid blue. Is it sky, I wonder?

"Ms. Wilkins?" the voice confirms, "Yes," I reply sitting in the same seat again. I look away and close my eyes as the technician draws 4 vials of blood from my arm in quick succession.

"The doctor has reviewed your lab results and he is doubling your injection, please have lab work redone in 3 weeks."

So many numbers: some are too high, many are normal, and some are too low. It is not just this set of numbers, it is the pattern of these numbers over the last 6 months that is concerning. I am scared.

I don't want to tell anyone about it. So many family and friends are on vacation, I don't want to send any news that is less than happy. Then I remember a moment 6 years ago when I suddenly realized that God was using a huge crisis in our lives to provide an even bigger blessing.

'You see!" I reprimand myself, "God has done many wonderful things for you!' He is in control. No matter what comes. No matter what path, I can be confident that He is watching over me.

This is the test of my character. Will I trust God in the midst of my circumstances? Or will I succumb to my fears and doubts about tomorrow? I know immediately what God is saying to me in the vision. He is calling me to walk through the doorway into His glorious light. What I want to do is go stand at the window and admire all He has for me at a distance from the safety of the place I am in. But He is calling me out and I know I will go.

Trust God from the bottom of your heart;
    don’t try to figure out everything on your own.
Listen for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go;
    he’s the one who will keep you on track.
Don’t assume that you know it all.
    Run to God! Run from evil!
Your body will glow with health,
    your very bones will vibrate with life!
Honor God with everything you own;
    give him the first and the best.

Proverbs 3:5-9 The Message 

Dear Lord, thank You for reminding me that I have a choice and that I can choose to trust You. Thank You for peace that is beyond my own understanding. Thank You for surrounding me with loving friends and caring family. Whatever it is I end up going through, I pray You will use it for Your purposes in me and in everyone I come in contact with. In Jesus name, amen.

Written by
Mary M. Wilkins